Amber Chia Thinks Winning Little Ashton’s Trust Is Very Importantby Amber Chia
Posted on 11 July 2012
Baby Ashton is already 21 months old. He is adorable, fun to play with and he inspires all kinds of emotions. I enjoy motherhood; he brings me a lot of happiness and bliss. He is very naughty but cute at the same time. I believe all mothers look at their babies as cute!
I realized now that I have over-pampered him. I think maybe he is my only son you know. Whatever he wants, he gets me to buy for him or make me get it for him. I talked to my husband two days ago and he agreed that I spoil Ashton. This is true because when Ashton has any problems or he is not happy, the first person he calls is mommy and I am the one he complains to. He is also a strong and smart boy. Sometimes even though I smack his hand when he throws all the food on the floor, he will tell me, “No pain”. This proves that he is very naughty and strong. However, when I scold him, he will be like “Sorry Mommy” and it makes me forgive him again.
I have decided not to over-pamper him. At the pasar malam two days ago, I bought him a new toy piano that I spotted at the toy stall. Then later at another stall, he wanted to buy a ball but I told him: “No Ashton, you already have many balls at home so we shouldn’t buy any”. He started crying but I steeled myself not to react as I did not want to pamper him. I told him: “Mommy says NO means NO!”. After another 2 minutes, he suddenly asked me to hug him. For a moment, I thought that he really understood me but he took my wallet out from my handbag which I had over my shoulder and tells me again to buy the ball. I went like, “No Ashton, you shouldn’t take Mommy’s stuff without asking. What must you say?” He pleaded: “Pleeease Mommy, buy ball ball”. I stood my ground and he got the message eventually. This proves that kids these days are so smart. Even at 21 months old, he knows that you need money when you want to buy something. And since he had no money, he wanted to get my money. I must say he is very smart but I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing.
Every time I buy things for him, I tell him that you need to pay for them. When we go to 7-eleven and he is in the queue with people in front of him, he will say, “Excuse me” and then pass the money to the cashier. I teach him to pay because I realized that a lot of kids take things without knowing that they have to pay for them; especially in this age lah. Actually even at about 18 months old, he was already saying: “Money money money buy buy buy”. He definitely knows that you need money to buy things!
Recently, I will think about where to take him out during weekends. It makes me really happy when I see him smile. I think all mothers feel the same way. So every weekend is like, “Where to take him huh to make him happy?”
We visited the KL Bird Park and he enjoyed watching all the birds but he was frightened by a bird screeching suddenly at the photo booth. Poor little Ashton was in tears!
Ashton also loves KidZania which is located next to The Curve Shopping Centre. KidZania is an education and entertainment indoor theme park where children get to role-play adult activities. They can play as a postman, police officer, fire fighter, doctor, dentist, etc. In fact, there are about 50 to 60 professions to choose from. I think this place is very smart and creative! However, my son is a little bit too young. It is more suitable for children age 4 to 10 because the kids need to be able to understand instructions for example the postman need to know where to deliver the mail and the news-writer need to be able to write. They get paid in currency called KidZos which can be spent at the outlets inside the park. Ashton played postman but unfortunately he was not a very successful postman because he can’t read yet. After that, he went to perform and on the stage but was looking for me in less than 1 minute. Then he joined the fire fighters and he only enjoyed spraying the water on the fake fire as the rest of the role play required understanding instructions. Oh! Ashton earned some KidZos which he spent on drawing his face. He drew a fireball on his face. Some of the little girls spent their money on make-up. Unfortunately, Ashton did not get to play much as we only spent 4 hours there. Besides, it was a Saturday and it was very crowded with lots of long queues. My son enjoyed the place although the activities tired him out.
Once, I took him to the Cinema to watch Spiderman. He had his own seat. During the first half hour, he kept asking loudly “Where spider, where spider?” As Spiderman only appeared towards the end of the movie, I had to keep telling him to: “Wait…Spiderman coming”. I did not want to disturb the fellow audience too much so I carried him out for awhile. When we went back in, Spiderman came out. He really enjoyed the fighting between Spiderman and the Big Lizard. He referred to Big Lizard as Dinosaur until I corrected him. After the movie, he could not stop telling me the story: “Spiderman fighting Big Lizard…..Spiderman killed”. You know this means he understood the story of the movie.
My movie, Tears Of The Mom has been on air since 3-4 weeks ago. Ashton was at my movie gala. He watched the movie to the end. I was surprised that he sat through the whole movie quietly. I think he enjoyed my movie because I was in the movie. After that, I went for supper with my parents and he was telling my mom: “Mommy cry” and “Mommy run run run”. He thought it was real because he said to me after the movie, “Mommy cry, sayang Mommy”. I teased him, “You naughty so Mommy cry loh”. And he apologized: “Sorry Mommy!”. You know it is the first time Ashton saw me cry. Mothers, including myself, are usually very strong and don’t cry in front of their children. So Ashton was nervous when he saw me cry.
We also went to a 3-D movie but Ashton did not enjoy that because he did not like wearing the glasses. When he took out the glasses, he could not see very clearly.
There are a lot of stories I can tell you about Ashton. My mind is filled with wonderful memories of Ashton. Although he is very naughty, I think he is just so adorable and you know every day, no matter how busy I am, I try to spend about an hour with him when I get home. If I don’t take him out during the day, I will ask him about what happened during the day. He will tell me that he played with Tanesha, our neighbour’s little girl. He loves Tanesha. He knows who he likes. He doesn’t like the other girl, Tina. He will say, “Tina, stupid”. I wonder where he had learned that word! I even asked my maid if she taught him that. Maybe he picked that up when I said that in front of my friends. I know he doesn’t like Tina because they are always fighting over toys. But every time Tanesha meets Ashton, she will say, “Ashton Ashton Ashton” and Ashton will say, “Tanesha, Tanesha, Tanesha” and they will hug and kiss each other before going out to play with the ball. It is like kids dating and they always play with each other. He loves Tanesha who is very beautiful and cute. She is one year older than Ashton. I am even relegated to second place when Tanesha is around.
I just learned how to cut Ashton’s hair. It took me about 3 hours as he won’t sit still. Sometimes, I pretend to be angry and he will run back to me and tells Grace who is our maid, “Mommy angrrry”. Grace will reply, “Yah, you don’t want your hair cut so mommy is angry”. This will make him apologize, “Mommy sorry” and stay still for another five minutes. Giving him a hair cut is indeed very tiring!
I can tell Ashton loves me and misses me. I missed him so much when I was in Tawau, Sabah that I skyped with him on iPad. He would not talk to me but cried and screamed when I told him, “Mommy misses you”. After that, he asked his father to take him upstairs to look for me. He just does not know how to express his feelings so he just cried. This makes me feel that I cannot leave him for too long anymore. When I returned, he ran to me, jumping up and down with glee. I do enjoy motherhood. It is so sweet, so happy and so emotional.
Ashton is at the fun age to play with. He is getting better at communicating with people. I think he can talk a lot for his age. Recently, I just realized he only knows English. So I downloaded some Chinese Apps on my iPad. Kids are now so intelligent. Ashton learns very fast. He can say “Fei Chi” which means aeroplane, “Hsiang Chiao” which means banana, etc. I know that he picks up Mandarin because of the Apps and he also learned English from these Apps. He recently learned how to recognize colours and that is just learning from Apps. He can tell me the colour of my car when I ask him. I think his English level is very good too. A few weeks back when we were in Penang, he could name things like seaplane, big boat and even canoe. I think Apps are incredible for learning. Of course, I do control his playing with the iPad because I don’t want him to get addicted. I don’t want him to think that he can get anything he wants. He is well aware of what he can get and what he can’t get.
Today, the kids are smarter than we were you know. Maybe it is the milk powder they are taking. Everyday my mom tells me that at three, I could not speak that well. I cannot believe that my son speaks so well. He has even learned Hokkien from my mom. Like my mom will say “Lee kee chor ha mid?” and he will tell me “Mommy, lee kee chor ha mid?” which translate to, “Mommy, what are you doing?”. He is so cute when he goes like that! You have to be careful what you say. I mean you cannot teach them like the way our generation was taught. For example when my maid smacks his hand, he will say, “No pain!”. They are not scared of being smacked. He will complain to me too. Whenever Grace smacks his hand, he will run to me with “Mommy, pain pain. Grace piak (smack)”. I try to tell him that the maid does that because he was naughty but he will insist that it is “Pain pain”. I cannot bring him up like how my mom brought me up. We were scared of the rotan(cane) but kids nowadays are not. So whenever Ashton does something wrong, I have to explain to him why he should not do what he did. Eventually, I do get my message across to him.
I make sure I keep my promises too. For example when I go out, I will tell him that I cannot bring him along but when I return, I will take him out. Like today for instance, Ashton looked at me and said “Mommy working? Okay, okay, bye bye Mommy”. He knows that I will take him out when I get back. I do not want to be like some mothers who always lie to their kids. At the end of the day, their kids do not trust them anymore. I think it is very important for your kids to trust you.
You know I want to be my son’s best friend. I want him to share everything with me and I am already practising it. Every evening when I go home, I talk to him and get him to share with me the happenings for the day. It may just be routine things like the food he had and the cartoons he watched.
I would like to advise all mothers to just enjoy your motherhood. The new generation is not the same. We shouldn’t just smack or scold them. We must explain things to them. Trust me, it works because it worked for me. Don’t compare your kids with others too. Some kids learn faster, some kids learn slower. They will eventually get there. I get some mothers who asked, “How come my son is older than yours but he can’t talk like Ashton?” It is normal for some kids so don’t worry Moms!
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