Amber Chia’s Little Ashton Is Boyfriend Number 2by Amber Chia
Posted on 10 September 2014
We went on a holiday to Phuket recently as I have not had a holiday for a year already. I was actually killing two birds with one stone. Ashton will be turning four soon, at the end of this month and it’s time for me to plan for baby number two. I have been trying to conceive for a year and I thought a relaxing holiday may well do the trick.
Ashton was so excited when I asked him to pack his bag. He loves travelling and has been asking me when our next holiday will be. Needless to say, his bag was 90 percent filled with toys. We had a great time in Phuket.
Ashton is at the willfull stage – I made my decision already, I am not going to change my mind! And he has a ready reason for everything he wants to do too.
Me: Your toys are too big to take along to Phuket.
Ashton: I love them. I want to play with them when I am there.
Sometimes, it takes a very long time to talk him out of something.
Me: Ashton, do you want to pray for a brother or sister?
Me: Why? Don’t you want a sister?
Ashton: Mommy, a brother can play with me. Boys should play with boys.
Me: You can play with girls too. You can play with your sister.
Ashton: Mommy, you don’t fight, you don’t play with guns.
(…and it went on and on)
He is at a fun age though. He makes me laugh with things he says sometimes. It is a different stage of motherhood, a different set of experience and I enjoy every moment of it.
Ashton can be all very grown up at times. I think kids learn from their parents. He gives me the same answers that I give him. The other day, he told me, “Mommy, it is okay to have a boy” because I am used to comforting him with, “Ashton, it is okay…” whenever he is not happy with something.
He is a good sport too. We did the Ice Bucket Challenge together in support of ALS.
Ice Bucket Challenge - Ashton
Ice Bucket Challenge - Amber
I asked Ashton for his opinion on his coming birthday party and he surprised me with “I am already a big boy, I don’t want Angry Bird party. I want Pocoyo party!“ So, he is going to have an entirely different themed party this year after having Angry Bird themed parties for three years.
Ashton is kind of like my second boyfriend these days. He calls me about ten to twenty times a day to check on me. He wants to know where I am, why am I not at home yet,etc. When I was away in Kuching for a workshop, he called to ask: “Mommy, where are you? Why are you not sleeping in the house? Where did you go?” or if I am working late: “Mommy why you are not home yet? Mommy, you know I am waiting for you, why you are not at home yet? It is night time. It is already so late. Time to come home.” I am touched that he misses me so much but sometimes I feel helpless, not being able to have him understand why I cannot be with him. If I tell him I am working, he will say, “Mommy, I don’t like you to work. I don’t want toys anymore. You come home now.” My friend tells me to enjoy this phase because when he reaches a certain age, he will want to do his own thing and I will be the one looking out for him instead.
Last night, Ashton and I celebrated the mid-Autumn festival at my friend’s place. We had a lantern session. Tonight, we are celebrating it at home with some moon cakes.
Ashton loves to draw now. He is drawing all over my house. My house is a mess, you can see his colour pencils and drawings all over the place. I explained to him that he cannot do that and he goes, “Oh Mommy, I am sorry. I accidentally drew.” So he is at that age where he can come up with a lot of excuses. I have to be careful to teach him the right thing. His favourite word nowadays is ACCIDENTALLY. I always make it a point to tell him that it is wrong to lie. He does apologize though. He gives me his most sheepish look and says, “Oh, sorry Mommy. I am not going to do it anymore.”
He can be a real sweetie you know, when he wants to. He knows how to say the right thing.
Me: Who do you love?
Ashton: Mommy and Papa.
Me: Who is Number 1?
Ashton: Mommy and Papa are Number 1.
Me: No, you can only choose one.
Ashton: Ummm… Mommy okay, you are Number 1
(and to his father: “Papa, you are Number 1.”)
Me: Ashton, do you look like Papa or Mommy?
Ashton: Mommy, it is okay. I am a boy so I look like Papa.
I think he has emotional intelligence. He knows how to say the right words to make me happy. Sometimes it comes up very funny and I laugh when I look back at those moments. Motherhood is so wonderful. That is why I want to have a little girl too. Ashton has grown up so fast. I miss the time when he was one to three years old.
Ashton is very much the “boy”. He has set ideas on colours for girls and boys - pink and red are for girls and blue is for boys. Recently, I asked him to try on a wig so that we can have an idea of how his sister will look like. He obliged but took the wig off immediately after I had taken one photograph. He said, “Mommy, this is for girls. I am a boy, I cannot put on wigs.” And he likes all the action games, guns, swords: all the boys’ stuff. Some days when I refused to play “fighting” with him, he will say, “Okay, I call Papa to fight”. He is so full of energy – he can jump up and down like a thousand times.
I am ready for a little girl. It is time for Barbie dolls, soft cuddly toys, pretty dresses and girl talk.
Ashton is still very talkative and he tells me everything. As soon as I get home from work, he will give me a full account of his day. I think it became a habit from the time he was little when I would ask him about his day without fail.
These days, the kids are amazing. My son already knows simple arithmetic like 1+2=3, 4+5=9 and can count the money I give him . I am surprised as I only learned how to write when I was five. I am impressed with his English vocabulary too. The other day he said, “Can you see the moon, Mommy?” I answered, “Ya , it is a circle.” He was quick to correct me, “No, Mommy, it is a semi-circle.” You see, the clouds had hidden half of the moon. He can also explain somewhat the meaning of words – “Surprise is when you see something and you are happy” and “Disgusting is when the people are very ugly”.
I have to be very careful when telling him bed time stories too. I was going, “The Angry Bird opens his hands to pick up the things” when he said, “NO NO Mommy, Stop! Stop! Angry Bird does not have hands!” Oh dear, I forgot Angry Birds do not have hands. I have to really study all the cartoon characters as Ashton is getting more knowledgeable about the cartoons than me. When I asked him to tell me bed time stories instead, he insists that it is Mommy’s job to do that.
I learned a lot about cartoon characters from Ashton. I think in motherhood, we learn from the kids as well. Sometimes when I ask him about a certain character, he will go to Youtube and tell me the history. I am very careful about what he watches though. I watch what he watches and I check the history of what he watches too.
Time flies, my Ashton is really growing up too fast!
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