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Do I Really Need A Maid???

by Mamapumpkin‏
Posted on 18 April 2012

Apart from flip-flopping about education in Malaysia, our Government is also flip-flopping about maids. This has made it very difficult for parents to employ maids from Indonesia and maids from the Philippines are too costly for most Malaysian households and many of them only want to work for expats anyway. Maids from Cambodia come with language barriers and local maids, well, Malaysians are too high class to be maids! If only our locals would change their perception that being a maid isn’t something to be ashamed off. Heck, even my husband said he wanted to be a maid when he heard that my maid had off days and he had none.

With current maid uncertainties, parents should decide if having a maid is REALLY necessary for child minding. Are you even aware of all the deaths and abuse that happens when your child goes to a child care facility? Not all child care facilities will kill your children of course, but your child is always at risk. Why? Because the child isn’t their child and nobody will give your child the same level of nurture as his or her own parent. Period. If you are so lucky as to have a grandparent or aunty to help out with child care, well and good, but not even grandparents offer the right kind of nurture that parents do. This is a generalisation and is up for debate but statistically, parents are the child’s best carers.

Look at countries like the UK and Australia, majority of parents there do not have maids and they wing it all themselves. It IS hard work but it is only 5 years of your life. What is 5 years of your life compared to an average life span of 80? It is part of life! We are meant to take care of our own children! But what if we couldn’t afford to? Well, that’s debatable, isn’t it? What amount of money are you chasing and what for? Is the 5 years of working for money worth the 5 years you lose with your child especially when he needs you the most for his critical early development? Most Asians go for the money so it’s no wonder why we aren’t yet as developed as others. It all starts with the child. Raise a good kid and we will end up having a good nation.

If parents were organised enough, running a household with kids is doable. So what if we cannot go out every weekend because parking is too costly and Starbucks is out of reach? So what if we cannot eat out every weekend? So what if we cannot do more frivolous shopping? So what if our kids don’t wear cute kids clothes? We all make sacrifices in life and if one cannot make sacrifices for their own children and offer the best of care, why have them in the first place? Of course, if you cannot even feed your own kids, then you really should ask yourself why you are having kids!

I have been a Stay-At-Home-Mom for 7 years without even a cleaner come in to clean apart from the last 2 years when Baby number 2 came along. I know how crazy it can get and can easily knock any Mom into deep depression! Half of that time, I started doing some part-time voluntary work without salary just to keep my sanity. Now I have 2 girls and I work full time but I’m lucky to have negotiated the flexibility to work from home, meaning I get to know exactly what my kids are doing and I am always around should they need me. I am also lucky enough to be able to employ a maid who cooks and cleans and a Nanny who cares for my little 2 year old all day whilst I work. It’s a perfect arrangement but how many Moms can have this? I reckon if more and more Moms (or Dads) started being Stay-At-Home-Moms (or Dads), the trend will follow and employers will be forced to be more accommodating towards Moms as there will eventually be a shortage of women in the work force. And remember, you only need to do this for a short time till your kids start going to school and then you can start chasing those career ambitions again. It is never too late and I am evidence of this. Before I landed this position, I had not worked for 10 years so I do have that 10 year gap in my resume but I am proud to explain everything I did during those 10 years of non-employment. Heck, one deserves even more respect for having the child as your boss, working round the clock and still not getting paid at that!

But what about the Moms who WANT to work because work gives them self-esteem or whatever it is they are searching for? If they have someone they trust to care for their kids with much love, fine, but if not, Mothers, please make that sacrifice to care for your own kids. I really do not wish to hear of another child dying in child care from negligence.

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