Amber Chia - The Joy of Motherhoodby Amber Chia
Posted on 24 November 2010
How’s life after becoming a mother ? How has it changed your life ?
I would say that after becoming a mother your life is going to have a lot of joy, like a lot of happiness in the house, e.g. this morning when I woke up the first thing I do is walk down to see my baby… and you know when I look at him I feel bliss and I feel joy, and so happy to see him around.
Life has changed to become more busy of course because now I have one more thing I have to look at. Before that I’m only in my business; which is modeling and also my modeling business and now actually I have my little one, my little Ashton, so I always try to rush back to see him, and sometimes when my friends call me to catch up I just tell them that I have no time and I have to go back to take care of my baby because he has become my first priority (except work, which I have already promised). But if you are talking about catching up with friends or anything, I prefer them to come to my house or just somewhere near my house, so that at least after the meeting I can come back to see my baby.
When I’m working actually he is always on my mind. So I miss him a lot. So every time you know, I have a great excuse as well to tell them that “Oh no I’m not going to stay for dinner I have to go home to see my baby”. I wouldn’t say that it’s an excuse, but it’s something that I really want to do. But if you talk about last time, always after work I will stay to catch up with them, but now I always want to rush home, but they understand.
But some of them actually do not understand, like there is this funny thing, when I was in Penang 2 days ago, I flew there in the morning and I knew that I had to breastfeed my baby at night, so I took the last flight to come back. And actually during the shoot I miss my baby and I keep telling my partner who is Alan Yun, and he was doing the shoot with me in Penang. You know Alan Yun right? So, I keep telling him that I miss my son, and he said, “Don’t talk about that! How can you can talk about your son for the whole day, from this morning when we get into the flight, until we arrive doing the shoot, until we finish the shoot, until we come back!”. So I said that “You don’t understand, one day when you become a father then you will understand how I feel..”
So, how do you manage your daily routines, like do you help out with changing the diapers, feeding the baby and all that?
During the night yes. But during the day actually I’m lucky to have my mother and also my maid to help me so I can go for work. But at night I definitely have to feed my baby and, it becomes a habit or maybe I just want him to be next to me when I sleep, because ever since he was born, he has always slept with me, and at least if I wake up in the middle of the night, I can go and see him and I feel, you know, if he is not sleeping with me I will feel like, I don’t know what happened to him or whatever, I will go down and see him. So if he sleeps with me I can just wake up and look at him, and ok, if I can see that he is sleeping very deep, I feel good and well and I can go back to bed to continue my sleep. But if the baby sleeps with my maid or my mom, I think I will go down and see him as well. Because, I don’t know why, I just have to go down and see him for awhile, like once every few hours, to look at him and I just feel more relaxed and comfortable after looking at him, I don’t know why. Because the feeling is the “mother feeling”. I feel relief and also feel good as well.
And the reason why I said that my son brings us a lot of joy is because, actually last time when I came home, my house is always very quiet. But now there is a lot of noise, my parents are here, and also my mom used to live in Tawau but she moved to KL to help look after my baby. So that’s why there are more people at home now. Also everyday I have friends who come and visit, so my house becomes more “happening” and also, a lot of joy, a lot of noise. My mom always talks to the baby, so a lot of noise in the house. So it won’t be like last time, so quiet. So I feel good.
On my work side, timing is very important, so I think you have to know how to manage your work and also your time. As my baby is my first priority, I try to finish my work and come home earlier.
A lot of people are surprised that I know how to change diapers, bathe and feed the baby, and how to make him sleep… everything. Actually I only learnt those things only after I had my baby, and I think if you have one, you will be willing to learn everything he or she needs. So I would say that as a mother actually you will learn everything.
And I still remember something funny. One night I was changing diapers because he pooped, and after I took out the diapers, he peed. So it was directly on my face! Yeah, and then, if I am not a mother, I would feel that it’s very disgusting and I would be like, “Shit! That is so disgusting.”, but now I don’t know why it just feels good, even if my baby peed, it feels like it tastes good as well…hahaha. You know, how is the mother’s love for her baby ? Like last time if you ask me would I change diapers for baby, I won’t because I think its very smelly and disgusting. And now actually my baby even peed on my face and I feel ok. So it means that, this is the mother feeling and the mother’s love for her son. So this is what I experienced.
Also another thing is, last time if I’m sleeping and if someone wakes me up in the middle of the night I would feel angry, but actually now my baby wakes me up every night and I feel ok. I feel so happy to wake up and see him, and I don’t feel tired. If he doesn’t sleep then I will accompany him the whole night. So I think this is the mother and son love. If it was someone else, even my husband, I would be like “Why you wake me up midnight, I’m sleeping”, I would be angry and scold him. But for baby, even if he doesn’t wake me up, even if he just makes a little bit of noise, I will wake up, I see him opening his eyes and accompany him for the whole night, I feel good. So I think this is the difference when you become a mother, this is the love the mother would have for her son I would say.
I’m happy to become a mother now, I really feel blissful and happy. Motherhood is not easy and actually I’m not feeling that well. I have a little cough because I’m not getting enough sleep. So actually I’m trying to avoid getting close to my son, not to kiss him even when I want to, better not, but I feel fine enough, and I still take care of him, I don’t know maybe it’s because I love him so even if I’m sick I’m willing to take care of him. I would say that, a mother will love her child more than anything else in the whole wide world.
Also, everyday I see him growing, everyday he is learning something new. For example, if you observe your baby, actually everyday you can see a bit of changes e.g. his head is getting harder now and he knows how to bring the head up and look left and right. So, when I see him do that I feel like, “Oh, he is learning new things.” Recently, I found out that my son has started playing with his saliva, so I think he is learning another new thing as well. I still remembered last night, before I went to bed, when I was trying to calm him down to sleep, he smiled! It was the happiest moment for me! I know the smile doesn’t mean anything, you know, especially for baby, but the smile makes a mother even more happy. A lot of people say that when you see your son smile, the mother is going to be the most happy person. Sometimes baby could be just closing eyes and dreaming and smile, but when I see him smile, I’m so happy, I don’t know why, I also smile, you know.
I enjoy my motherhood, even though it’s very tough but I love it and enjoy it. I always feel so peaceful because I have a son and at least sometimes when I work hard, I feel that it’s worth it, it is something that motivates me to move forward and work hard for him. This is what I feel at the moment. So I just feel very blissful, happy and joy. I just feel very grateful that I have this son, at least something that makes me and my husband want to come home earlier.
Yeah, before we were married and had Ashton, actually both of us always go out in the morning and come back at night, so we don’t come home so often until we finish work and catch up with friends. But now actually I think my son is a good thing to tie the father and me to come home more often to enjoy quality time with our son, and I think that is amazing and the feeling is great, so that’s one of the reasons I enjoy my motherhood.
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