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Lying to your kids – Should you? Shouldn’t you? Where do you draw the line?

Is Santa Claus real? What about the tooth fairy? Do our toys really come alive when we sleep?
Will I really go blind if I read in bed? These are all questions my 6 year old has asked me and I have lied about them all.

*GUILTY AS CHARGED*

For starters, I had 10 wonderful years believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy so why shouldn’t my kids? It was such a magical experience for me knowing that besides my own parents and family, there were people out there looking out for me - elves who could listen, fairies who were watching, and Santa, who obviously loved me in some form or other and could get me toys my parents wouldn’t!

It was fascinating!

My childhood evolved around fantasy and make belief. I read Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, JRR Tolkien, marvelled at gnomes and pixies searching them out in gardens, and wished I could be just like Mr Pink Whistle having the power to go invisible if I ever had one wish. And eventually, when I was old enough to realise that those pillow cases that filled every Christmas with goodies came none other than from my own parents, I was grateful that my parents had such good intentions and went out of their way to do this for us. I felt blessed that I was given the opportunity to experience some magic, even if just a little. So naturally, I want the same for my girls.

Another way I lie to them is when I need to get my way. We’ve all been there. It’s late and the kids are cranky but yet they insist on going to play at Kizsport. So instead of saying no straight out, I lie and say it’s closed. Or something to that effect, perhaps invent a story that there’s a private birthday party in there so we cannot go. I must warn though that doing this is dangerous and should only be attempted when you are sure you won’t be caught out. I lie about broccoli making you look pretty , how chocolate balls are really lizard eggs and how sleeping late will make you miss out on all the fun at Sleepyland, where the biggest rainbow playground is free of charge but limited only to the first 500 kids who sleep first.

I am so going to hell when I die for all these lies..…..

Some parents don’t want to disappoint their kids so they don’t have the luxury of getting mesmerised with fantasy stories only to find out one day that their parents had lied all along. Some parents say they know their kids and how they would be so dramatically upset should they find out the truth about Santa; and whilst all that is fine, I wish these kids would NOT go around spoiling the fun for other kids!!! It is unfair and unsporting!!

Of course, the downside to lying to kids and them believing in all things fantasy is that my daughter is now terrified of Shrek and scenes from The Little Mermaid scare her as she says she has visions of them at night thus is afraid of sleeping in pitch darkness. My husband also teases her about sending her to the police station or selling her off at the market and she can never tell when we are serious or not. But ahhhh…..some stress is good training. *wink*

Worse, since kids follow our lead, does this not mean that our kids would start lying too? Probably, but this is where you step in and teach them that it is indeed wrong to lie and the fine line between true lying and white lying. Is it going to hurt someone? Are you protecting someone’s feelings? Is it just a prank? Kids need to learn to differentiate facts and fantasy so teach them when the time comes, what your threshold is for lying.

If anything, it teaches your kids to be aware that you should never trust anyone blindly and should always verify the facts yourself before accepting truth. With practice, they will learn to discern who they can truly trust, who they can’t and what is true and what isn’t and then, they will learn how to find things out for themselves eventually. One important lesson to teach is that they should never, ever lie to themselves. Yes, we should never lie to ourselves.

For now, we’re all happy and we’re all having fun. I know though that one day, the jokes going to be on us old foggies but that’s alright. I’ll be sitting down with the Hubs sipping margaritas on a yacht wondering how they ever grew up so fast and left us, and who do we prank on next? Each other???

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