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Nobody told me THIS about breastfeeding!!!

by Mamapumpkin‏
Posted on 30 August 2010

Breastfeeding sure is one of the biggest decisions all new mothers make when having a baby and are then forced to re-evaluate when the going gets tough. Are you cut out to be a breastfeeding Mom? I thought I was but little did I know how difficult it was. I soon had to decide between the best nourishment for baby versus my own sanity.

When I became a new mother, I was so sure that motherhood was the hardest job in the world after working in a stress loaded British company well known for piling on the pressure. But if motherhood was the tipping point of my sanity, breastfeeding certainly threw me over to being completely mad. After learning all the wonderful things breastfeeding was for baby, it was only natural that I too wanted the best for my baby, but what nobody told me was the intensity and extreme strain it could cause to my well-being, my body and ultimately my entire family!

Move on over, your whole life belongs to baby now!

My biggest niggling gripe about breastfeeding is that if you think babies in general are clingy, just wait till you have a breastfed baby. They literally form part of your limb and there is no getting rid of them till they themselves decide when to let go and that could take anywhere from birth to 99 years old and for your sake, let’s hope it is way before the latter. They say it’s harder for the boys to let go but I haven’t any boys so I can’t comment any further.

In the first 2-3 months, you are literally the automatic breast tap on call. The average book suggests that babies take up to 25 minutes per breast and then sleep for 2-3 hours. Well, I’ve spoken to dozens of moms and they concurred it was more like the baby took an hour or TWO (YES, TWO HOURS ON THE BREAST) sucking/suckling, then slept for another hour or two, so I’m not sure where they got their data from. Perhaps they assessed only the very lucky Moms and ignored the rest of us! Just imagine your entire day being devoted to that little bub and whatever free time they allow you must quickly be used for life necessities such as eating, sleeping and washing. So unless you’re ready to give THAT up, don’t even hope for reading, knitting, poo-ing in peace, painting, chatting on the phone, cooking, getting onto the computer, baking, playing with your older kids (if you have any); basically anything else that you used to do whilst you still had a life.

If you anticipate being seriously sleep deprived, believe me when I tell you that you have never, ever experienced sleep deprivation till you’ve had a breastfed baby who takes charge of your pair of knockers. Before you can even fall asleep, baby is up again and presses the repeat button.

Your boobs belong to baby now, not your husband and not even you. When they’re old enough to use their hands, they’ll turn into boob addicts akin to hard-core heroine druggies, and strip you (literally) for their fix. They become as strong as The Incredible Hulk and rip your blouse up or down with fervour should you try to deny them, arch their backs with zealous anger and SHRIEK!!!

And because breastfed babies LOVE your breasts so much, they express their fondness by pinching and twiddling your other free nipple (even if it is covered up, the smarter ones tend to find their little pincers there), or by plucking at your bra strap or pulling at your hair. They all find their own way at expressing their love.

So really, you are at your baby’s disposal until you are able to wean. Just so you have something to compare with, I’ve been trying to wean my baby girl for the last 6 months without success.

OH, The PAIN!!! - “An unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder”

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the biggest wuss when it comes to pain. My threshold is worst than that of a child so it was really important for me to know that in the 1st few days post-partum that my nipples were going to get cracked whilst it toughened up to accept perpetual sucking and gnawing. PAIN!!! What about engorgement? Have you ever filled a small balloon with an ever-flowing stream of water till it exploded? I’ve heard that cabbages help but they turn out smelling real bad. And of course, I had to get breastfeeding thrush, the pain of having knives slit your breast constantly (I’m not exaggerating here, plus you keep passing it back and forth to each other and this can last for months) and what about baby biting and gnawing at your nipples once their teeth come in? No…..I was never informed of all that pain. If I had to describe the pain, it’d be like rubbing spicy chilli padi and salt onto extremely sensitive parts of your body (use your imagination) that have open wounds, then hoovering those bits with a Karcher at maximum power. The thing is, breastfeeding isn’t supposed to hurt if you’re doing it right. Wrong. There is the pain of your uterus contracting whilst you breastfeed, the pain on your head from all that anxiety and the anticipated countdown to more pain before baby’s next feed. So, yes. Breastfeeding garners plenty of pain. Is it worth it? Totally……

And the other changes I wish I’d known?

Most small breasted women have something to look forward to when pregnant – larger breasts! When else can you be the sexy pin-up of your partner’s dreams if not with hormonal help? I was no different but when it happened, my moderate B-cup expanded overnight into a D-cup (KABOOM!) and I did not feel one bit sexy because it was PAINFUL! Even feather strokes and chiffon fabric brushing against my breasts hurt like mad that feeling sexy was farthest from my mind. Then when baby arrives or is about to arrive, your breasts start leaking (drip-drip-drip-drip) when you least expect them to and you get milk drips all over your expensive timber flooring (clean them immediately). Some women shoot milk water guns from one side when baby nurses on the other side so they constantly need to remember their towels, tissues and other breastfeeding props as necessary at each and every feed. And unless you want to walk around with two wet patches on your blouse like your breasts had an accidental wee, one must always remember to wear breast pads.

Men will never view breasts the same way again after losing their privileges to baby. Especially after they’ve witnessed the electric Medela pulling at your nipples by a few inches long going ORGHHH-ORGHHH-chuh-chuh-chuh, ORGHHH-ORGHHH-chuh-chuh-chuh, followed by falling liquid sounds. Men are threatened that way. After they see how breast pumps efficiently suck at your breasts, their egos take a stab so don’t take it personally.

What I was also not prepared for, was that the general public (men especially) tended to stare whenever I nursed discreetly in public. Obviously, Malaysia wasn’t a mature breastfeeding society! Sometimes, I’d nurse in the car whilst parked and undoubtedly, a motorbike or a truck driver would slow down when passing by, just to catch a glimpse. Surely, it must be the cuteness of the baby and not my breasts!

Apart from offering the best nutrition to baby, another bonus was that we would save lots of money from buying tins of commercial baby formula. That’s what we thought! In reality, I was so famished that our grocery bill doubled as I could eat a horse daily and eating out became a killer as I would eat not one but two main courses. My advice? You really need to do the math prior because breastfeeding also requires healthy quantities of quality food and lots of hydration (at least 3 litres per day). And not everyone loses weight easily from breastfeeding. I certainly didn’t. Each ounce of milk your body produces burns 20 calories. Either I wasn’t producing much or I was eating way over the limit. Either way, my baby wasn’t gaining weight through breastfeeding and was diagnosed with Failure to Thrive. Your body also loses lots of calcium when breastfeeding so make sure you up your calcium intake or easier still, consume one of those commercial lactating Mom’s milk.

One more thing I wish I knew before beginning my breastfeeding journey was how everyone around me would go, “You don’t have enough milk.”, You better give her some formula.”, “She’s so big already, you better wean her!”…….yada-yada-yada……If your body is like mine and doesn’t produce breast milk so easily, then comments like that are sure to send you into XXXX. What about elderly family members who would stare at how you feed because suddenly they think it is their right? Mommies, be strong enough to excuse yourself to your nursing dungeon.

The upside is, if you can succeed in breastfeeding, then really, you can succeed in almost anything. It is exhausting, inconvenient, painful and it alters your breasts for life – who would want to do it? Well, did I not say that children were sacrifices? In fact, THE biggest life sacrifice? It is all normal and breastfeeding does get easier. Eventually…….And babies really ARE the best, breastfed.

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