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What’s the big deal about Christmas anyway?

As far as I know, Christmas to many kids these days in Malaysia are about receiving presents. Certainly my six year old daughter!  I asked her today whilst she was writing a Christmas wish list to Santa,
“Why do we celebrate Christmas, T1?”
She gave me a blank look. I repeated my question and persisted for an answer. She shrugged.
“I don’t know.”

“THINK!” (I tell her the story of Christmas every year……and she forgets every year)
“We are Christians?” (it’s funny, because my parents are Muslims and my in-laws are Buddhist)
“Yes….what else?”
“We give to charity?” (you’re almost there, kiddo!)
She only remembers this because we have bought gifts for some orphanages during Christmas in the past. But yes, I had to remind her again that Christmas was about giving, not receiving. And rather than make a list for Santa, I’d have preferred her to make a list of who and what she’d be giving instead. It didn’t matter who and what, but I wanted her to think about how fortunate she was and how she was going to go about giving to those less fortunate than herself.

One year, she sacrificed all her Christmas presents rather reluctantly so the less fortunate kids could have presents instead. Perhaps it was too early for her to practise such a gesture but nevertheless, I’m sure it taught her something. Or at least, I hope it did. I intend to keep at it so she inculcates a grounded stance in life and not get caught up in the material world, especially in Malaysia where superficial people place such importance on social standing and material goods. It is so important for me that my children learn that we can truly live with so little - a roof over our head, food and water, some clothes and lots of love.

As a child, my parents never taught me about the true meaning of Christmas but my mother did make it special by allowing us to stay up till midnight to open presents during Christmas Eve. It was such a thrill for us as it was the only time we were allowed to stay up that late and furthermore, when we woke up the next morning, all our pillow cases would be filled with more presents and chocolate!!! We always had Christmas parties at our house where my parents’ friends would all come along and Mom would cook a feast. It was a jolly time of family and friends, presents, good food cooked only once a year and good cheer. So although Christmas was always happy for me in my childhood, I want so much more for my kids now.

Thus, I started a tradition per se. Throughout the year, T1 would have a letter to Santa that she’d add to every time she wished for something. This list would be the benchmark for her to reflect upon once the year was up. And the story goes that Santa had elves hiding and watching her every move throughout the year so she’d better be on her best behaviour at all times. She has a book on how Santa works so she knows the drill.

25 days before Christmas, we would do a countdown with the treat of an advent calendar. The idea of an advent calendar first came about when it was thought that celebrating Christmas alone wasn’t enough to express our appreciation and so people would do a countdown to Christmas in remembering what God did for us (sacrificed his life for us), for almost the entire month. Of course, in those days, people would just mark a line with chalk on their entrance doors but now, a countdown calendar with all kinds of wonderful Christmassy pictures and windows that open up to chocolate and stories about Christmas are available.

On Christmas Eve just before bed, T1 would leave out some cookies (we’re planning to bake our own gingerbread cookies this year, we did them the year before and they were awesome!) for Santa and a glass of milk. We usually celebrate Christmas Eve with our immediate family (and a fabulous meal) and the kids get to open their presents by about 9pm and then get sent off to bed. Early Christmas morning, T1 would be the first to wake from excited anticipation if Santa had visited and would find the windows open (because we don’t have a chimney!), a cookie crumbs trail and an empty glass of milk. And the bonus would be that he usually leaves her a note!!! And sometimes, he’d fill her many Christmas stockings hung around the home. One year, Santa’s reindeer even had a poop right outside our window! Christmas Day is spent again with the immediate family and the air of joy is indeed magical. There is no feeling quite comparable……

So really, what is the big deal about Christmas? Apart from its religious connotations, I think that in Malaysia, EVERYONE can celebrate Christmas. My parents are both Muslim, my Mom prays five times a day but she has a Christmas tree in her home almost every Christmas. I have some Muslim friends who also have Christmas trees in their homes who buy presents for us. Who’s to say we can’t? Children of any religion or background can be told the Christian story about the Christian God and how He sacrificed His life for people so we could live as we all have faults and people who were bad were supposed to be punished. We needed to give thanks to God and we needed to learn to GIVE since He gave to us the ultimate gift of life. I wouldn’t go into too much detail because with kids, you just need to keep it simple.

And if you do decide to partake in the act of giving (presents or otherwise) and putting up a Christmas tree, teach your children that in every gift that you give (and again, remind your kids that it is not about getting presents but giving!), to pray for that person with a specific reason (for example, to stop smoking or to get well soon if that person is sick, or just to be happy or to be free of troubles – whatever!). And with each Christmas tree ornament that they hang, tell them to say something that they are thankful for. And last but not least, make your child perform a Christmas project in thinking of someone or a group of people who are less fortunate than themselves and then ask them how and what they’d like to do about it. Now, how can that be bad? It’s such a valuable lesson that Christmas can teach us and we don’t even have to be Christians to learn it.

Christmas anyone? I cannot wait!

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